Saturday, September 12, 2020

Dancing in this Graveyard with Mr. Thompson

I return to this blog, a graveyard now for three years, to write up my thoughts upon reading Mr. Thompson's memoir: Dancing Through Graveyards with Ninth Graders. It seems apropos to post them here, on the blog I started and maintained while in his honors English class. 




When I sat down to open this book for the very first time, it had been 10 years, almost to the day, since I sat in Thompson’s classroom for the first time. As I started reading, it was as if no time had passed at all. I was 14 again and sitting in that hot classroom, though memories fade and I don’t remember it being so hot. I do, however, remember the massive fan that occupied a full corner of the classroom. Even in 2010, they hadn’t figured out how to properly air condition that junior high. Even in the “new hall” where Thompson’s room resided, built after the rest of the school, and not long, I thought, before I sat in his classroom (reading his book I realize I was wrong.)

This book is so perfectly Thompson. The rebellious tone. The strong, determined voice. The Greatest of Expectations alongside the most empathetic of listening ears. You always knew where you stood with Thompson.

 

10 years later, I’ve just completed a Master’s thesis and throughout that process, and all of the years preceding it, I had ringing through my head a variation on Thompson's words: Just write. You only become better at writing if you write constantly. He’s right. You have to get words on the page in order for them to somehow become better. And there’s a Master’s thesis in existence now because of Thompson.

 

Is it any wonder that he is one of only four teachers from my secondary education experience (excluding my own dad) I still thought about as I finished my Master’s? One of only four to receive a graduation announcement this spring. One of only two from junior high.

 

Thompson taught my three younger siblings as well. We were one of those “whole family” groups. Within seven years he taught me, my two brothers, and my sister. I shared his philosophy on ninth graders with my family because it so resembles the thoughts I’ve heard from my own dad so many times. In response, my sister “loved” the comment (she’s on a mission and can only react to messages from us when it’s not her day off) and my brothers both responded with unexpected enthusiasm.

 

One brother, now a junior in his undergrad, said “Ah, I wanna read that book.” I sent him a copy immediately (not mine, are you crazy?!)

 

The other, currently a senior in high school, wrote: “He’s the best English teacher I’ve ever had full stop.” He added, “of course, I’ve only had four total.”

 

Between the four of us, we have lasting memories and lessons from Thompson that trickle through our current lives. He taught us things we probably already learned elsewhere but they were emphasized using unique methods in his classroom.

 

In this book, you can feel the kind of teacher Thompson was. A rebel. An advocate. He really cared about us students, he did. And you can feel it in these pages. Thompson thrived in the chaos of junior high and through his influence we came out better people. We became better scholars, and we became better at believing in ourselves, because he believed in us. You can feel that in every anecdote, in every snarky line. You can feel it in the stories of Athena, Nathan, and Lincoln. He was, and is, just like that.

 

This book is perfectly Thompson’s essence. I laughed, I thought, I stopped in the middle to write thoughts in my journal—yes my journal, I still keep a journal with all my thoughts about whatever I’m reading, while unlike the one I kept in his class, it’s a very useful thing to have around—I teared up, and I remembered sitting in one of those desks facing the other half of the classroom.

 

I remembered the people of Spoon River, and the epitaphs we wrote—mine, by the way, still live on the blog I kept during the honors English course I did in my spare time, for it was still online in my day. I remember bits and pieces of the Mercutio monologue I recited, scared out of my wits, during the Romeo and Juliet sequence. I went on to compete in debate, so what gave me the right to be that afraid? I remember the KISS posters, and our sentinel, Gene Simmons.

 

I remember being incensed by Fahrenheit 451 because they were burning books! An outrage! A travesty! I was the student carrying around at least one and maybe two new books each week, so you know where I stand. Years later, when Ray Bradbury died, I thought “Good” and then I had to retract that terrible thought because honestly he did a great job in showing us what the future looks like. It’s a terrifying place to live, this version of reality so close to what he wrote.

 

I don’t remember everything, most things I’ve forgotten, to be honest with you, but I remember a lot, because Thompson’s classroom was memorable.

 

Ten years on, Thompson is still one of my all-time favorite teachers. When I emailed him to secure his address for the announcement, Thompson sent me a picture of the Stargirl rocks he has, one of which I made. It’s still painfully obvious which mine is. I’ve grown beyond the person she was, but not by much. And, because I am fundamentally who I was then—the A student who loved to learn and would ask if we were turning in the assignment if he forgot—I have to tell you that I caught Thompson with a grammatical error. On page 262, at the end of the page, Thompson used the phrase “his curiosity was peaked.” That is the wrong homophone, it should be “piqued.”






Monday, January 16, 2017

Just Fine

I live in a culture where marrying young is not only accepted it's encouraged. That's fine. It really is. But for me that hasn't been my path. That's fine as well. The past three years since I graduated High School have been wonderful, I've watched so many of my classmates find love, find their eternal companions.

That hasn't been my path. In fact I can count the dates I've been on on two hands. But I realized recently that there is a reason for this. When I was younger everyone asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I think I always answered 'teacher' at first. That was all I knew. My dad was a Band and then a Seminary teacher. But as I grew older I learned more and eventually I answered that I wanted to get a PhD.

Then I went to college. I started taking college classes and I began to wonder if Graduate School and a Masters were really things I wanted, let alone a PhD. College was difficult. I excelled, but I cannot remember I time that I did not in school. I worked harder. I worked longer. and I've done fairly well for myself. I recently realized that I could graduate pretty soon. I didn't realize how soon. I thought I had time to plan but on Friday I found out I can graduate this semester.

Everything has been thrown into stark relief. I realized I want a graduate degree. I realized I may even want to pursue a PhD. I realized I love learning and as a 20 year old I'm not really ready to leave the learning environment I've been a part of for 16 years. I'm not ready to enter the world of working adults. There is plenty of time for that. There will never be enough time to learn everything I want to learn. So I want to keep learning. I want to keep understanding.

So I'm not like everyone around me. I don't actively date. I study. I learn. And that's okay. My path is different, but I've realized that if I had been dating someone. If I had been involved in a serious relationship during my Undergraduate career I may not have made the decisions I have made. My goals and priorities are different and yet the same because of my choices now.

My path is different, my road the one a little less traveled by my peers.

And that's just fine.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

I believe in Joy

I believe in Joy
I believe in laughing out loud
I believe in dancing in the rain
I believe in chocolate
I believe in girlfriends
I believe in singing at the top of your register
I believe in small smiles of triumph
I believe in solo dance parties
I believe in screams of jubilee
I believe in Joy

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Support Grou-I mean-Strategic Culture

As many people already know, and they probably do because I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut when I'm going through something, I've been in a class called Strategic Culture. It's a primary research course in which we are attempting to answer policy questions through a cultural lens. We look at four aspects of culture. Identity, how they see themselves. Values, the things that they truly value. Norms, the accepted actions and in contrast, the unacceptable actions. And Perceptual Lens, so how the group sees itself and others on the global stage.

Anyway, It's a really cool class that gives us a clear view of what an analyst really does at the CIA. So we've been researching our topics for about two months now and about four weeks ago Jeannie came into class and told us "You're all going to D.C. with me". She informed us that we had been invited to D.C. for a mini conference to present our research to relevant people who are interested.

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Anyway so we've all be working super hard to get our research in order, start writing the papers (none of us really have), and put together our presentations. So every class became, quite literally, a support group.

Walking into class every day was another opportunity to figure out where everyone else was and then not feel as bad because no one else had really started either. It was also an opportunity to bounce ideas off of one another.

As the youngest in this class (when am I not?), it has been a complete growing experience. I've had mentor's and proofreaders *cough* Molly *cough*. people who have supported me from across the country *cough* Sam *cough* and people who have put up with my "stained-glass" window.


But I think the most important group of people are those in my class, because venting sessions are the best kind of therapy.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Blessed Beyond my Comprehension


You wouldn't know it by the picture above, but today I turned 20. I was reflecting this morning in my prayers on the blessings of those 20 years. As I expressed to my Heavenly Father my gratitude, I realized that most of my blessings came in the form of people. As I thanked my Heavenly Father for my family,  roommates, future roommates, missionary friends, high school friends, Bridgerland friends and work friends, I came to one conclusion:

I have indeed been mightily blessed.


I have been blessed with a family that loves me so much. For a mother, father and brother who decided to text bomb me the exact minute I turned 20. Blessed with another brother and sister who tell me I'm old and make sure I know it. My family are my biggest cheerleaders. My parents are my biggest, strongest supporters. I am so grateful that I have them a phone call away. My Mom and I have become best friends since I moved away. It's incredible to me how many internet tests I take and my mom is the person who should be my travel buddy, sister etc.

My Grandparents, both sets are incredible as well. There is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for them, for their support and their unconditional love. My aunts, uncles and cousins who without a doubt love me. It doesn't help that I'm their oldest, and therefore first niece :).


I'm blessed with roommates who are incredible. They always know what little thing I need that day. And there are times when I no longer feel like I can move forward and then Alexis will say something that will buoy me up, or Tasha will freak out about spiders. Megan and I will share a geek moment. Talisha and I will tease Tasha. Or Ashley will make me laugh. And then it's all better. They are my rock. and there hasn't been a day when I wasn't grateful for their love and support. We got put together for a reason, and that reason was we each needed each other.

Krysta and I share the same obsession with Star Wars and methinks that means our relationship was meant to be. She's the Rey to my BB-8 (she can understand me when I'm unintelligible). Amy (Our R2D2) knows how to make me smile and Emilee is unfailingly kind. Knowing that we will get to be roommates next year gives me no end of comfort and joy. I am so excited and so happy that they are in my life.
 



It is incredible each Sunday and Monday to receive several emails full of experience and spiritual insight from each of my missionary friends. Even more wonderful is to feel close to them as I kneel down and pray for their well-being and success each night. I am grateful for strong friends in high school that became incredibly strong missionaries. And they start to come home soon, so that's crazy.


Even from Provo, there are three girls I simply would never have been the same without. Never. I would have been lost and alone. I would not know who I am. They have helped me find me. there are not many places in my life where I can be completely myself with no reservations. With Ashley, Alicia and Mary I can be. I can be completely myself and completely safe. I love them deeply. Our friendship is something that will not die because I will not let it. I am so exceedingly grateful for them. For their love. For their friendship.


And the Bridgerland group. I am so grateful for the summer when I was losing friends and was forced to go out and make new ones. For W-1/30 who reached out with open arms and accepted me. Who let me be me and loved who I was. Who talked with me about literally everything from dating (the eternal curse of the singles) to politics. Who purposely get me started on rants about Trump cuz they think its funny.

Brandon, Tyler, and Stew who are simply good people and who care for and about people. Who accept everyone and anyone, because they are amazing.

I'm grateful for Maren, my forever Valentine. The woman with whom I can do weird things like awkward hand holds and hugs and it's not awkward cuz it's just us. Camille who is literally the kindest woman I have ever met, save Alexis (Sorry Camille). She is always worried about everyone and I love that about her. Emily who is an incredible woman who knows how to care and how to laugh.

I'm grateful for Derek, Trevor, Josh, Chet and Jaimee. Each who have an amazing ability to make you trust and know that they truly care.


I'm grateful for the people I work with. The people who make it joyful and wonderful to come to work each day. Who challenge me on a daily basis and pick up the slack when I fall short. Who make me laugh and put up with my quotes, and my snark.

On this, the 20th day of my birth, I am incredible grateful and incredibly blessed to have so many people who have unequivocally loved me. Who have watched out for me, and who have cared for me.

Today Alexis gave me something that caused me to cry, and that was a little booklet of notes. She had taken the time to go to my work, to each of my roommates and to Bridgerland. Where she asked each of these groups to write notes for me. I cried. Each of the notes was something personal. Some inside joke. Or some political campaign they'll run for me someday. I am so incredibly blessed to have these people in my life who make me happy. Who make sure I smile. and who make sure I know I am loved.

Last year I had the worst birthday on record.

This year I had the best.

And it didn't come packaged in boxes or bows. It came packaged in great love. In people. And in gratitude. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Life-Long Friends, and other BAAM nonsense

Growing up I always was envious of the people who had friends that they made when they were two and they kept for the rest of their lives. Those people who were just always friends. And I never had that.

I grew up with my parents who kept in touch with only one or two friends from High School. Whenever Trent was in town, or we were in Arizona we made sure to spend some time with his family. And we took trips out of our way to visit Annalise in Vernal. When we went back East it was Heather we visited. And when we wanted to do something nice for Mom last year we sent here to Scituate to visit Heather for a full week. I always wanted a friendship like that.

This morning I woke up and realized that that relationship was literally sitting, standing, and sleeping right in front of me.  I realized that what I have with Ashley, Alicia and Mary isn't a passing ship in the night. They are my Heather, Trent and Annalise. They are my life long friends and honestly it's something we've had to work for.

Last year we got sick of relaying what was going on in one text convo to another, and one thing led to another so we decided to form a Facebook message group, which necessitated forcing Mary to make a Facebook. We literally talk on that thread every single day.

Skype conversations are pretty regular. We talk every couple of weeks in person, and on a constant, daily level through other means.

When Mary got married guess who were her bridesmaids? Us. (+ Katie)


And last year we decided to do a yearly get together where we just go away, just us girls. 

I've discovered that this kind of friendship doesn't just happen. You have to work for it, and you have to work hard for it. It doesn't happen overnight. and it doesn't happen in an instant. 

Mary, Alicia, Brigitte, Ashley

The best thing in life aren't things, and the best things in life don't stick just by accident. It takes effort, it takes love, it takes time (5 years here and counting). And it takes vulnerability. It takes admitting that you love one another and that sometimes you miss one another terribly. 



When you love somebody, you stick around, you talk, you take time. And you care unconditionally. They know your successes and your failures. They know everything. There are many reasons I love these girls. But knowing they always will have my back and will always be there, that tops the list.

I have found my life-long friends. and I'm a gonna keep 'em. Thankyouverymuch.

"Love is spelled T.I.M.E." -Dieter F Uchtdorf

Monday, February 15, 2016

My Valentine

I was looking at my bracelet today, it's one I wear often because Klarissa has one just like it except it says "Little Sis" where mine says "Big Sis".

Anyway, So I was looking at this bracelet I wear on my wrist as a constant reminder of my love for my siblings. And then I thought of Someone who loves us so much he has a permanent mark to remind himself of His love for us.

Our big brother has graven us upon the palms of His hands (1 Nephi 21:16), and if that isn't the greatest Valentine you've ever received I don't know what is.


So Happy Valentine's Day everyone, I hope you truly do remember the greatest Valentine you have ever received from our big Brother!