I Stand

I stand
Mesmerized by the ebb and flow
Caught in the dying amber rays.
Cast in shadow, outlined in flame
I feel the chill wet cling to my ankles
And smell the brine upon the air
I fill my lungs
As I stand
Frozen by the dying sun
Bound by the grandeur in simplicity

Missionaries!! Well the first couple

I have the great opportunity of associating with some great young men who are all starting to leave and I feel like I have to say something about them even though they aren't quite all gone yet, but I have to start now while the ideas are still trying to get out.

The first missionary to leave was Jonathon Downs. He was an SBO, but left right after Prom. It was a shock for everyone to have someone graduate early and leave for Kansas. He has been a great missionary.Word to the wise: it is hot in Kansas and chicken spoils easily and fast. Favorite quotes from his farewell: "I will not let what I do not know stand in the way of telling what I do." "God doesn't call the prepared, he prepares the called."

Yup we are weirdos

The first missionary who left after graduation, wasn't around very long after graduation, but he and I have been very close.Daniel Garrett was in Orchestra with me and the quartet we put together senior year, and my prom date senior as well. So needless to say; we are pretty close. And he was the first of my friends to leave. That was hard. He is such an amazing guy, for reals. He is always trying to make sure that everyone feels included and that everyone knows the pure joy of the gospel. He is a music nerd, no other way to put it. Loves singing, viola and just plain music. He is going to be a phenomenal missionary in Daejeon, South Korea. Favorite quote from his farewell: "Missionary service requires all of you." "Missionary work is a labor of Love"

Then the same day was David Teuscher's (Russia/Kazakhstan) farewell and he left, that was also interesting. We weren't really close, but his constant faithfulness has been an inspiration. And, not gonna lie, I've been jealous of his smarts. Favorite quotes of his farewell: "We will make mistakes but through the atonement we can fix them" "You can be anxiously engaged by yourself for a time, but if you don't rely on Christ you cannot endure to the end"

In the meantime, some before, some after, Kirsten Anderl (Mexico, Torreon), Kylie Madsen (Manchester, England), Liz Ashby (New York, New York), and Jaqui Pectol (San Antonio Texas Mission). Kirsten is a phenomenal missionary as well. Farewell quote: "The Atonement is a precious gift I want to use every single day of my life".  Kylie Madsen is serving already as well and England is lucky to have her. Farewell quote: "Have faith in our Heavenly Father that he knows us and our needs" Liz Ashby had her farewell awhile ago but due to knee surgery once, and then later a need for a second, she has not yet left, although she is ready:) Farewell Quote: "We have a limited perception and Christ has a broad perception". Jaqui is a phenomenal missionary serving in Texas. Farewell Quotes: "the choices I make matter because my divine destiny and my actions do make a difference" "Life is hard because now is the trial of our faith" "Not all trials are bad in life"

Elder Watkins is in the green
jacket as the officers planned
something on St. Patty's day

Then today a missionary gets set apart who has been a blessing in my life because of his testimony. Braden Watkins never has failed to share with someone, something. He has shared his testimony through his actions, and the people of the Washington Kennewick mission will be truly blessed. Farewell quotes: "Sharing the gospel is simply a matter of showing who we are, a son or daughter of God, every day of our lives" "Do we show others how great we are or how great God is?" "I do not doubt because my Mom knows it" He will be wonderful and will do many great and wonderful things.

Ambree, Sarah, Jake, Me, Casey

Sarah, Jake (aka crazies)

Jacob Hogan is another missionary who has blessed my life immensely. He never fails to include people and thank then and just be happy for them. He is a talented singer and doesn't hesitate to share his talents and his beliefs. Funnily enough he and Elder Garrett will both be going to the South Korea Daejeon mission. Elder Hogan will also be a phenomenal missionary. he is very gregarious and is the type of person people love to talk to. the musical number at his farewell was sung by 4 soon-to-be missionaries and one in-a-year missionary, Elder Watkins and Elder Hogan included. They sang The Spirit of God and then he gave his talk and then the closing hymn was God be with you till we meet again. Not a good choice! The girls around me started crying, and I won't lie, a tear or two leaked out of my eye. Later we found out he chose that hymn. Well that was kind of dumb:) Farewell quotes: "Like the stripling warriors we will not come out of our life battle without wounds, even though we are strong" "When we pray God often reminds us of what we already have." "One day we will feel the love of God and know that he is there."

And to date the final missionary is Elder Jake Merrell who will be going to the New York, New York South. he will also be great and is one of those missionaries who is always ready to share, so that's great. Farewell quote: Are we ready now to lose ourselves in he work and spread the gospel?

I love missionaries. Today I had the opportunity to attend the temple and while there I was confirmed by a young man I know. Kawika Tupola (not sure that's spelled right, but I tried) was in my seminary class last year and was at the temple with friends. Nomi and I went to the temple and were put into their confirmation room. It was a special experience knowing that just a month and a half ago I had graduated with this young man and now he had the power to confirm me in the temple. He was with two other endowed young men who I knew and it was indeed powerful to see the younger men baptize and confirm in the temple.

How blessed I am to live in a state where temples are so abundant and I have the opportunity to associate with so many faithful young men!

#spreadthespiritweek

I have some awesome friends, like really awesome and super spiritual. and this last week they decided it would be awesome to do a #spreadthespiritweek on instagram and facebook. I also had the chance to join them and the opportunity to make my faith stronger was awesome. 

So Monday I was hesitant I didn't really know if I wanted to be a part of this challenge, but I did not and today I do not regret it. I decided to put all my posts in one place so I can remember them. and Hopefully someone might come across this someday and it will help them.

Monday:
4 years ago I heard this at trek. Ever since then in some of my hardest times I have heard it in my head, not quite knowing where I heard it first. This last week I had the opportunity to bring it back to trek with a little bit of help from Maddie Hadley and others. I am so grateful for its message and the knowledge that I truly am never alone because I have Him to rely on. He keeps me going when times get tough. And He will ALWAYS be there #motivationalmonday #imjoiningthechallenge psst: go listen to the song "I Never Stand Alone" by Steven Kapp Perry

Tuesday:
If we are treating our bodies as the temples they are everywhere we go is a holy place #standyeinholyplaces #andbenotmoved #templetuesday #spreadthespiritweek

Wednesday:
Perhaps that is why I love music more than anything. There are many times when the spirit cannot be denied because it was presented through a song or music. #WordsofWisdomWednesday #spreadthespiritweek #musicislife

Thursday:
Today I am thankful for laughter, Joy, forever families, the gospel, baptisms, cousins who make the right choices, and my Savior. All of which are represented in this picture. #thankfulthursday #spreadthespiritweek #jjstoleisaaksglasses #atjoshsbaptism

Friday:
I love this quote with all my heart. It's one that gets me through the hard times. I know for a fact that he will always put solid ground beneath my feet if I am willing to put forth some effort and step out. At times he may let me fall a bit before giving me the solid ground, but that is so I may become stronger, and my sure footing will come. #faithfulfriday #spreadthespiritweek

Saturday:
Service, I guess, doesn't come from a store, service is something just a little bit more. service doesn't have to be large in fact it can be as little as smiling. Or letting a little one hit you with your hat. It can be helping them eat a popsicle, or letting them steal your glasses. You don't have to go far away to serve. You can serve at home or in your families. Service isn't about you, it's about others, but you will find happiness for you in doing service #servicesaturday #spreadthespiritweek #familyisfabulous

Sunday:
This is my Savior. If you don't know him, I invite you to learn of him and come to be his best friend. Because he is mine, and he has saved me, comforted me and loved me. I know that he suffered for my sins, and thank heaven for that! I know that he lives. I know that I have a Heavenly Father who lives and loves me. I am so thankful for the gospel in my life and the light it brings. I know that I can be with my family forever and I get to live after this life. I know the Book of Mormon is the most correct of any book. I am so thankful to have it in my life. And finally I know that Joseph Smith restored the true gospel and President Thomas S. Monson is the true and living prophet on the earth today. #shareyourtestimonysunday #spreadthespiritweek


this week has really blessed my life and increased my love of the Savior. I love this gospel and am so thankful for friends who allow me and provide opportunities to change. 

First College Adventure

That's me and my coolio roommate

So I have a wonderful friend. And we play the cello together. I know how fun. But we were at our last concert together in April when I decided to be an Aggie and we decided that since neither of us had a roommate yet  we would try to room together. Well 2 months later we are indeed rooming together, off campus, but rooming together. And we are both super psyched, you don't even know.

But last Wednesday we decided to get together and start our college adventures . .. after doing some great kitchen planning. so Ogden has this gret jazz night where a jazz band just plays jazz music. So we just decided to go up and listen to some jazz music. But we got there super early so we wandered down 25th street.

We were walking down and there was this crazy guy who was shirtless with a beer belly and a pepsi can, we are pretty sure now that he was drunk. but he kinda hit on us and it was really freaky and creepy. But we survived by walking super fast past him. At the end of that street there is a pizza place called Lucky Slice. They have a real piano out on the street so we sat down to mess around. Jessica played a little bit and then she and I did some Jazz improv, which was so much fun. We enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. We finally decided to go back to the jazz night and when we stood up and walked away these young men who were with their dad eating dinner outside started catcalling and applauding. It was something else. To say the least. . .

The Jazz night was cool too, it was a drummer a bass and a guitar and the percussionist could sing. They were really laid back and making up the set list as they played, it was a lot of fun to listen to them. they played some great jazz standards like "Fly me to the Moon" and some that we didn't know, but it was still awesome and if we hadn't gone to that we would not have known about the fact that the Ogden Chamber Orchestra was playing that night and that would have been a complete shame.

So we left jazz night early and got ourselves to the Ogden Amphitheater where this group was playing. and they were just starting. After the first piece the conductor stopped to introduce the second piece. I knew the piece from the first couple words he said, he talked about how it was a contemplative piece that rose to a climax and then ended with a silence. and then he said Samuel Barber's name and then I probably hurt Jessica because I was super excited about the whole thing because it was my favorite piece they were going to play . . . Barber's Adagio for strins. and I fangirled about it, real bad. in fact I sent my mom a text that read: Um, they JUST PLAYED BARBERS ADAGIO FOR STRINGS AKA MY FAVORITE CLASSICAL PIECE IN THE ALL OF EVER!!!!! I had a fangirl moment. 

So yeah I was pretty excited

. 

We left that a little early too and decided to go back to Jessica's and watch the Kiera Knightley Pride and Prejudice. But on the way home we had to karaoke to Les Miserables it was almost a requirement. And both of us have rather low voices, Jessica's is decidedly lower than mine, but it's not much of a stretch for either of us to sing like the males in that musical, and so much fun besides. So Looked Down and sang to the Stars and faux played the cello when they had the cool cello sections. and you all have to be jealous of us because it was something else. 

Faux Cello (At a stoplight, she's not being dangerous)

So we went to Jessica's and had ice cream and watched some P&P. and both complained about Collins and Lady Catherine and tsked at Lydia. it was a wonderful close to our first college adventure.

Selfie cuz we can 

Cool piano by Union Station

AP Results are Here

Yes, yes they did come out on Saturday and I am writing about them today, but I am honestly so full of emotion that I have to say something!!!

This year I took 5 tests, and that about killed me off. Can I tell you a little bit about test week?

It went a little something like this:

My first test took place on Monday afternoon May 5, 2014. It was Psychology. I was so prepared for that test you have no idea. I love the topic and I studied HARD. I was ready. In fact Mack and I were goofing off before the test we were so ready. we had these little shells that looked like horns and she turns to me and goes, "Brigitte, I'm a Unicorn." with the shell up to here forehead and I grab mine and put it to my nose "Well I'm a Narwhal". Yeah, just a bit pumped and slightly slap happy. But then the test was easy. It really was. It didn't do a lot with chemicals,which I had studied religiously to get them straight. It didn't mess with the nervous system, which would have been a struggle. It left out half the names. yeah, it was easy. and then the free response, I about yelled Hallelujah. There was a stats question; easy, and the other question was just as easy. I walked out of there knowing I had done well enough to get at least a 5. and at the risk of jinxing myself, didn't say anything. But lo and behold, July 5th comes and I got a 5.

My next test was AP Literature and Composition on Thursday morning May 8, 2014. I was prepared for this one too. I spent all Tuesday and Wednesday studying works of literature. Hamlet: Prince of Denmark, Things Fall Apart, some Frankenstein; a Modern Prometheus and just to round it out I did study some Anthem. I was ready for this test. Mack and I were desk partners again, and all went well. the Multiple choice was just fine, there was a sonnet and I was mad (and about half the class was too) because they didn't ask us what kind of sonnet it was, we all knew it was Shakespearean, gah. But we all spoke too soon because the poem we had to analyze for the essay was also a sonnet, so in the end we got our sonnet and dissected it too. Our prose section wasn't half bad, and I'm pretty sure I did well on both of those. But then I read the prompt for the free response. It was about sacrifice and in that moment I wished I had studied The Metamorphosis even though I hated it with a fiery passion. it would have been perfect, but I wrote a perfectly good essay on Hamlet. How he had to sacrifice his relationship with Ophelia,  his dignity and his standards (I think, I can't remember exactly). I must have done something or everything:) right because I got a 5!!!

However I got home from the test that afternoon and didn't finish my stats assignment like I said I was going to. Instead I was feeling sick and went to sleep. Later, Mack and Katelyn came over after I had woken up and done my stats assignment. We studied some stats and then went to the review session. Where we did more stats. I got home and I went to bed because I wasn't feeling well. I woke up the next morning and got dressed to go take two tests: AP Language and Compositions and AP Statistics. I had dreaded this day all year, because 2 tests in one day? Killer. But now. I was sick on top of all that. I wasn't feeling well at all. I asked my family to pray for me, and my best friend, and I was praying like none other. I don't think I would have made it through those tests without the help of my Heavenly Father.

So AP Language and Composition, Friday morning, May 9,2014, in a down pour of rain. For the first time in a long time I actually wanted and was excited for a test. I just wanted to write those essays, because honestly, in the Language tests you get to give your own opinion and that's totally kosher. The Multiple Choice was hard though. there was a lot of it and it was dense. I spent too much time trying to decipher the first passage and by the time I got to the 5th I had to skim in order to finish before the time limit. But there was a piece from a supreme court justice about why people should vote and stuff, really I should find that because I absolutely LOVED it and wanted to spend so much time on it, but I couldn't. In fact I had people tell me later that they thought of me when they read it, isn't that so sweet?  And then we got the essays and they made my day.  The first one was about college and paying for it, I was so ready for this source one and I was even able to cite some outside sources. The Letter from Abigail Adams to her son John Quincy was a little bit more difficult, but I made it work. And then we had an essay that was all us and all about . . . CREATIVITY.  and Creativity in the school system which honestly I've actually thought a lot about. I rocked it, or at least felt that way, and my score agrees, 5!! and while sick.

The counselors were kind enough to provide lunch for those of us who would be sticking around to take the stats test. so we ate and chatted and then we went back to take the test. My headache had returned which was so yucky you can't even imagine. and I was back to feeling ill. I said a little prayer. Mack deserted me. We'd taken every test together and then Sara stole her away. but that was a-okay Hannah and I teamed up.

Ap Statistics, Friday Afternoon, May 9,2014. The multiple choice was fine, there were a couple that I struggled with but I finished kind of early and went back over and then struggled some more and then was done. I still had time to spare. One of my pencils needed sharpening, so I pulled out my sharpener near the end and was sharpening it (I couldn't decide if I was going to use pencil or pen on the FR). Anyway, as I sharpened I could see that Chelsey, who was at the table next to me, was a bit peeved at that so I stopped. She told me at break that for some reason it ticked her off and she couldn't explain it. So the Multiple choice was fine. And then we had the free response which was what I worried about anyway. And they had 2 probability and it made me mad because  they aren't supposed to have two probability!!!!!! but that was okay and the Hypothesis test was okay too, except I realized 4 days later while talking to someone about the test that I had just barely messed up the formula and I started kicking myself about that. . . oh well. the test was pretty good after all of that and I was still worried about it even if I was pleased. But  . . . and this is the score I am most proud of  . . . I got a . . . 5!!!! *Happy Dance* I got a 5 on a math test, whoot, whoot!!!

but I went home that day and crashed. That weekend was Mother's day weekend and my family had plans with both grandmas. I wasn't able to be with either of them. On Saturday I was laid out all day watching tv and sleeping. and Sunday I couldn't go to Idaho and was left home alone again sleeping and reading all day. it was a bummer. However, I was determined to go to school on Monday as I had one final AP test and the class was that day. but I got up on Monday morning and I could barely stand, I almost collapsed. Needless to say, I stayed home on Monday and by Tuesday I was sufficiently recovered to go to school. I think what happened was I stressed myself into sickness. It's called a conversion disorder, but I'm all good now.

My final test was AP Comparative Government and Politics, Friday Morning May 16, 2014. The same day as the Orchestra state festival. the multiple choice was fairly easy and I did just fine I thought. there were a few things that I worried about, but mostly it was fine. Our class is super small for AP (only 20) of us and so we took the test at the school, in the cramped library conference room. it was fine though. Then we had the free response. Some of them I looked at and thought 'whaa'. But they were mostly common sense and I was done with about 45 minutes to spare. It was the longest waiting time EVER. But I was confident in my test and I was right to be so because I got a 5, even though Carissa and I couldn't group test . . . that was a bummer.

So My AP testing is all over and done. I am so happy with my straight 5's (though that was just this year). of my 8 AP tests I am proud to say that I have only one 4 to my name, and I am proud of it as well. I mean it was BC Calc, I was happy I freakin' past that test.

I am so grateful for my prayers being answered, because without His help I never would have made it through AP Lang and AP Stats. I would have collapsed or failed, but I did neither and I have the college credit to show for it. Whooooohoooooo!!!!