Shy . . .

I used to be painfully shy. I couldn't get out of my shell enough to even say "hi" to a lot of kids my age. At recess instead of going to play with friends I'd go talk to the ground duties. I still did in sixth grade even though I had some friends. One of the first friends I remember having in first grade was Erin Ashmead. we were introduced by a ground duty by the name of Mrs. Lee. We're still friends, sort of.

In third grade I remember it really picking up. In third grade there were four of us. Sierra, Mary, and Jennifer. We were the best friends. Mary had super long, blonde, hair. it always made me jealous that people thought hers was longer than mine, because it wasn't, mine was down to the same place on my body and I was taller adn therefore I had the longer hair, but no one believed me. Sierra was out going, fun and just amazing. Jenn is still one of my good friends, she absolutely is amazing. Not totally outgoing but not a total introvert.

Jenn and Mary had a common interest, Horses. The one thing I remember about our third grade recesses was the 'horse game'. Jenn and Mary were the horses, Sierra and I were the owners. Sierra was in charge of everyone. We used jump-ropes as leashes, and there was the perfect place for a stable. Like little 3rd grade girls do we made up stories and just played 'horses' But then it began to get out of hand. Other girls started to join and there were soon 15 or more horses for two owners. too much. So we said that nobody could play but the 4 of us. That didn't go over very well. Someone went and told and I remember having the teacher pull us away and tell us that if we couldn't let others play we couldn't play anymore. So we said 'o.k we won't play anymore' and for a few days we didn't. Then we became rebellious and we played again.

At the end of third grade both Mary and Sierra moved away. I'd see them occasionally, mostly for Sierra's birthday parties, and sometimes Sierra and I would get together. but gradually our relationship is gone. the last time I saw Sierra was in sixth grade at a ballroom competition.

As I continued through elementary school I don't recall having very many more really close friends. Sarah Beecher and I have been good friends for a long time. but until seventh grade I didn't have many more close friends. I was a very shy, quiet girl, as you probably have noticed that's changed.

In seventh grade I began to come out of my shell the tiniest bit. I began to talk to people and they talked back. As a result I gained a good friend, Katelyn Kelly. We've been friends for about 3 years. Anne Edgar and I have become good friends too, despite the fact that she can't remember that we were in classes together in 7th grade. there are many more.

In Eighth grade I was once more pushed out of my shell a little bit. I started to talk to people older than me. That was forced because of my being bumped up to French 3 and being in concert orchestra. I still wasn't comfortable talking to guys but I was talking to people more freely.

This year as a ninth grader I have really come out of my shell. I am no longer the shy girl who almost had to be coaxed to talk. I have actually been told to be quiet by some teachers (I know, surprising) I can talk with guys (the real sign that my shell is mostly gone) and I don't have any qualms about meeting new people. Trying to get to know them. O.k so maybe I do have some qualms, but not many.

So you can see, that even if you are painfully, absolutely shy, you can get over it. It will eventually leave. However, you do have to try a little bit. It requires the teeniest amount of effort, but you can get over it. I promise. (or maybe I don't, it may not work for you!)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

— Eleanor Roosevelt

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy . . . and Solo and Ensemble

Yesterday was one of the most hectic days of my life. starting the beginning of 8th period when I had to go to Mrs. Miner's to play for her Music Appreciation class. When we got in there our violist, Denali, was not there, I got Mr. Watts and we went to locate her. Finally we had everyone there and we began to do our little explanation of our instruments and the accompanying solos. After we were done I headed back to Geography. In the commons I saw Clayton, I was surprised, I didn't think it was already 2:10, but yet it was. Oh No! I ran to Carter's and got my stuff, and then ran to my locker. I got my stuff into my backpack and realized that my research for third quarter was in my Geography binder which I had left with Sara because she needed to write down the notes she had missed on Tuesday. I ran back to Carter's and looked through my papers and it wasn't in there.

It must have been in my music folder which was packed up in my cello case. I let Ms. Turneau know and I ran down to the Band room and got my research. As I raced back up to the commons they were loading the bus, I ran to the bus. I literally felt like was running every where like a chicken with her head cut off.

On the bus ride down to Centerville I got to relax a bit. Then we got there and I ran around again trying to make sure that everyone was behaving and in the right places. Our game went nicely. In first quarter we tied with 6 each and in 2nd quarter the same with 6 each. And then our third quarter (Morgan, Emily, Micki, Josh, and myself) came in and we had to pull our team out of a tie. So we did. we scored 18 points and Centerville scored 16. Then in fourth quarter we really pulled ahead and won 50 to 27 (you can lose points in fourth quarter as well as earn them. That's why Centerville earned negative points in 4th quarter)

Any way when we won we were pretty unsportsmanlike but you can imagine our joy when after 6 straight losses we finally won. On the bus ride back Micki, Kailey, Josh and I played the chain game which was lots of fun.

When we got back I had to literally run and get my dress shirt on and get my cello out. When we got back it was about 5:08 and my ensemble was at 5:15 and I had to hurry. My solo was directly after that. The Ensemble went pretty well, we played Allegro in C Major by Mozart but it was alright. Then my solo. Sara was my accompanist and I played Sonata in C Major by Jean Batiste Breval the rondo grazioso portion. It went pretty well as well. I'm soooooo glad it's over.

Then last night I read the night away. I was totally and completely exhausted. So glad that this absolutely hectic day is OVER!!!!

Orchestra

May 12, 2010

On they come

First cellos then basses

Mixture all low

Then the violas

With violins right behind

They find their seats

Arrange the stands

And then they sit

And wait

A cellist is watching

A spot off the stage

Then suddenly she leans forward

And whisper’s across

“Concertmaster!”

The concertmaster stands

And puts bow to string

And drawing across

A note gushes forth

One pure note

And then they all

Join and the note is a chord

At once they all stop

And the cellist is watching once more

Quickly she stands

And the orchestra follows

As onto the stage

The conductor comes bowing

She then seats the orchestra

And takes her place

She flips through the music

And raises her face

All bows come up

And sound comes forth

As she moves her hands

The violins with melody pure

The cellos, violas and basses

With harmony clear

Sound comes forth and starts very soft

Increasingly it grows until

The sound is thundering

Just over your head

The song starts to slow and

And then it speeds up

Until it seems the

Bows don’t touch the string

The once again

The bows start to slow

And the music begins to soften

A sense of longing fills you

As quietly and sweetly now

The orchestra sings

It almost seems a lullaby

And the music sways

Sweet serenity

Then the bows sustain a note

For now the song is over

The conductor slowly lowers her arms

And raises the orchestra

She turns around applause breaks out

Thundering, crashing

Rolling in waves

She bows and leaves the stage,

The orchestra following close behind

And longing yet again sets in

As you yet realize

The magic is lost

Never to be regained again

Solo

May 14, 2010

you slowly take out your instrument

and tighten your bow

that feeling of butterflies

is all too real

your shaking all over

and you know that it shows

because just out there

are people

yes people

people you know

or people who are your friends

you want to impress

you want to do well

what happens if you don’t?

Your shaking so badly

you can barely think

and then it’s your turn

your teacher said your name

you walk up, adjust the stand

and get a chair

you say your name and

what you are playing

you sit down and start to play

you wince as some note or rhythm goes amiss

finally it’s over you sit

but still your shaking

and nervousness persists

for so it is with solos

Keep in mind that the poems are written from the point of view of a cellist (which I am) in a violin or viola solo they'd stand up.

redecorating the bookshelf

Today I redecorated by bookshelf. I always have some sort of display on the top and all the way through, interspersed with the books that are obviously there. The picture of the newly decorated bookshelf is up top, and for lack of a better topic and because I'm a bit excited, my whole post will be about this bookshelf.

The top shelf has 2 of my collection of porcelain dolls. they are rather new additions, I got them for Christmas. They look like twins in some sort of traditional dress. in front of them is a statue of Christ, a miniature of the one in temple square. then there is a picture of John the Baptist baptizing Christ. There is another picture of Christ knocking at the door with no door knob. there is also a tile with names for Christ all over it. There is also a Book of Mormon in French, displaying another of my pastimes. A decorative lamp is in the far left of the display. On top of the clock is my dolphin 'collection' a glass dolphin, blue and clear. I don't know if you've ever seen the crystals with pictures engraved in the center, well that's what the other half of my dolphin collection is, one of those with dolphins.

The next shelf down houses not only my books but the angel "collection" and the Mostly Mineral but Some Rocks As Well "collection" The angel 'collection' is made up of two angels that are made of some hard material. These angels are beautiful, but in a stroke of my luck, the smaller one lost it's wings and the bird it was holding when it dropped on day. The other fourth of this collection is a music box that plays Eidlewiess inside it has an angel with two little kids and a bird house. The next fourth is another of those crystal things with a fairy in it, so it's not all angels. My Mostly Mineral but Some Rocks As Well collection has mostly been 'bought' or given to me by Mrs. Nelson. I have some really cool Gypsum crystals (really rare) and some calcite Crystals. some topaz, geodes and well you get the picture. But as I said It's mostly minerals. (yes there is a BIG difference between rocks and minerals)

The third shelf has yet some more, yes, Books. In the left I have another crystal box with a drawing of a turtle and some fish. on top of that is a red turtle that I think my Grandparents brought me from Mexico (sorry I can't remember exactly where it came from) leaning up against the crystal are a sand dollar and a sea shell. on the right, well the stuff on the right is irrelevant.

The fourth shelf is mainly books with my sister's 'jewelry' box, that doesn't hold jewelry all that often.

on the left of the bookshelf you see some flowers hanging. That is my 'flower garden' it's not a new addition. it's been there since the summer. I hang all of my hair flowers on there, It's a Utah trend I guess, the hair flowers I mean, Maren said that in Arizona you don't see them that often.

Well I guess I'm done with yet another ramble.

Star Wars

On the weekends I do one bulk session of all the week's laundry, yes that includes my brothers' clothing, my sister's clothing, my clothing and my parents' clothing. During that time I wash and fold all the laundry in the house that needs to be washed. I love to do it and it's not only because I take over the family room and watch TV while I do it.

This last week I was in a Star Wars mood. Granted we only own #1, 4 and 5 but I love them.
I remember as a kid (yes I'm still a "kid" ,sort of, but I mean when I was younger) My brother and I would sneak down on Saturday mornings stick the video (Yes they're all video cassettes) and watch until a parent or sibling came down. then we'd stop it where it was and the next Saturday we'd just start it up again right where it was and watch again. Usually we'd get through one video in about three weeks.

Last weekend I had to watch them again, I just wanted too. So I sat down with my basket of 'to fold' laundry and watched "Phantom Menace" while folding laundry. In a successive order I watched "A New Hope" and part of "The Empire Strikes Back", then my sister, sick, and who hates 'scary' movies came down. That ended my marathon for a time and until they(my siblings) all went to bed I couldn't go back to my movie. As I finish my laundry I got even further into the movie.

Believe you me, when you are in a dark room with Darth Vader puffing away on the screen and Luke Skywalker walking around with Yoda on his shoulders, and you are all on your own Star Wars can become a bit scary. I've never had a problem with Star Wars, no matter how scary it may seem, but, and I'm not afraid to admit this, when I saw Toy Story for the first time I was terrified and didn't watch again for a long time. I have watched it now and I enjoyed.

The movie I hate with a passion and still hate is Monsters Inc. The movie scared me soooo badly when I was littler. When my brother got it for Christmas and my family decided to watch it I went upstairs and played with my noodle heads (a type of doll that you could attach different body parts and dresses too with hair that felt , and looked like plastic, Technicolor spaghetti.) Anyway I played with my noodle heads for the duration of the movie. This happened a long time ago but this goes to show how much I hate it. I used to have nightmares that a monster was in my closet until I realized that my closet was "the wrong kind of closet." To this day I haven't watched it again.

Even though Star Wars has never scared me much, a simple Disney movie scares the wits out of me. Just goes to show that Disney can be very scary sometimes. That's alright though, it's all my disposition.